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[04 Jan 2005|09:40am] |
OMG ITS UPDATE TIME AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
Just letting You ALl Know I'm Still ALive....barely, but I am.
Its back to school time. I walked into the front hall yesterday morning after my 2 hour bus ride, and couldn't help but stand there, look around, and say outloud 'Oh My GOd I Hate All Of You.' I Don;t Know How mAny People Heard Me Or How Loud I was, I Didn't Even Relize I Said It Outloud, till I Caught Myself Saying To Myself As I Continued To Walk TO my Locker, 'Damn, I Don't See One Person I Like In This Whole Hallway.'
call Me Crazy, or a Victim Of Senioritus. I Think Its The First One Because I Have Been Like This Since Freshmen Year. Oh well!!!!
4 more months
4 more months
4 more months
4 more months
4 more months
4 more months
4 more months
4 more months
4 more months
4 more months
Hope you all had some sweet holidays.
Later!!!!!!
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| xmas |
[23 Dec 2004|10:19am] |
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mood |
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 awake |
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My cousin is coming in for Christmas!!! FUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKK YAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!
Alright so maybe this Christmas wont be as bad as i thought seeing that now, I get to spend it with someone who hates it as much as I do. Im pretty excited. Depending on how people react to her being there, she could be leaving the 26th, or staying for the New Year. Damn, I hope she doesnt ditch me!
Happy Holidays Everyone!!!!
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[20 Dec 2004|10:31pm] |
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mood |
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 drained |
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Imade an icon. Whoo. But its not that cool. Shows how desperate i get when Im home. I wish I was working more over break. More that 50 hours that is. More like 13 a day would be sweet. I hate being home. I just got home a little bit ago. I really glad to be back workin after my long break. I took all that time off and I really dont feel like I got anything done. Oh well.
Caylan and I are done for good now i think. It sucks how we are so perfect and we both want to be together so bad, but something like a signature can take it all away.
I went to New York this weekend for a film festival where I ended up on top of everything I was entered in. It was so fuckin cool. I was supposed to spend the night at a hotel with the rest of the people from the company, but I ended up talking and watching movies with Caylan all night. It was so bad. Even though we broke up, we didnt want to admit itand we acted like nothing happened at first. After the move i told him I was going to get heading back to the hotel and he was like *Maria, you know we are done?* and I was like *Yea* Then He just looked down with the most torn expression Ive ever seen in my life and after a few seconds he looked back up and said * Well i dont* and we both started crying and ended up having a 3 hour *Remember when we used to...* Cry session.
Yep so thats going to end up being one of our last moment together.
In two years at least.
I think for college I am going to end up in Toledo.
I dont know if this is good or bad.
I dont even care what happens anymore as long as I dont end up having to stay here.
Where ever I end up, Im going to transfer to NYU anyway so it doesnt matter.
I got the results from my Scholarship App to Savannah Art & Design and i got another full fuckin ride. Why does life suck?
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| I love this... |
[25 Nov 2004|09:01pm] |
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mood |
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 interesting |
] |
This test is freakin amazing LoL. I took it a few times because i was debating my favorite color, and between Fall or Summer...
SUGAR FREE!!! MMMMMmmmmmMMMMMMmmmmm
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| Sporks, Pop Rocks and Chicken Fetus |
[24 Nov 2004|10:27pm] |
You all need to go here, its amazing...
http://www.sonic.net/~ian/Spork/spork.faq.html
So I think I am done with my story telling. It was to show my BF that we have been through so much and he shouldnt break up with me and he should stop being an idot and talk to me. We are good now, and closer than ever so I think I am done unless any requests are made. ^^ . He is in from NYC all week so I am a happy camper. He brought me pop rocks today and was just the sweetest goofiest kid Ive ever seen. Call me giddy, but he is amazing.
but ew!
I was making mashed potatos for thanksgiving tomorrow, and I always put in cream cheese and like one egg after all the regular stuff and then put it in the oven for a while and when it all cooks together its sooooo good! So I peeled like 2 bags of potatos, made them, i had to mix all the stuff together, in 5 different batches because the mixer wouldnt fit it all at once, and decided to add like 2 eggs once everything was done in one big bowl. The LAST egg I added happened to constain a freakin bloody gushy chickn fetus in it, and OMG it was so GROSSSSSSSS!!!! There was this like dead chicken fetus body layig on top off a huge pile of mashed potatos. I almost got sick...ew ew ew. After I got it off the potoatos it wasnt that gross, and it was actually kinda cool in a sick weird way. It called my brothers attention, and they poked at it for like a minute cus they are sick, then buried it outside. i didnt want to put it down the disposal....cuz thats sick, and I didnt want it in the garbage for a week so whatever. It was just gross. Even after I through those out and made a totally new batch I wouldnt eat any of it. Not even taste test. BLAH!
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| STORY TIME |
[21 Nov 2004|03:43pm] |
HEY GUYS! I just wanted to tell you a little story about this one kid I used knew.
A while ago I was going out with a guy named Tristan. Home for me was worse than ever, and really has not been any worse than that since and getting away and being with him made me so freakin happy. I heard this girl that went to school with him talk about how much she flirted with him, and one day at lunch she sat on his lap and on and on and on about all these things she has been doing to try to get with Tristan. I didnt trust him at all, and that pissed him off...REALLY bad so he *broke up * with me. After, our friend Mike convinced me that the girl was a freakin wack job and made all of that shit up, and when he told the friends of this girl, they said she makes shit up all the time and totally believed him. The fact that I had admitted I was wrong and wanted Tristan back, just worked along with Tristans plan to make me feel like shit for not trusting him, and I was such a wreck. Now I was forced to be home, the last place i ever wanted to be, except for the few times Mike and his sister Maddie took me out. Mike had this one friend though. I had seemed him around, but really didnt pay much attention to any of his friends, except for Tristan of coarse, and he told Mike he had a plan. Mike invited us all over his house one day, and Mike and this kid convinced me to go even though Tristan was going to be there. I did, and Mike TOTALLY flirted with me like a freakin nut, right infront of Tristan. I was kind of weirded out by it, and it was a bit obvious I was trying to avoid him because I knew it was pissing Tristan off, but he couldnt even do anything because i was Mikes friend first, and he did just break up with me. When this one kid and Tristan were both on the Dreamcast controlers, the rest of us left the room and the kid, I guess was talking to Tristan about me. I guess the talk went really good, and when the kid was done playing the game, he ran into the kitchen were the rest of us were and gave me the biggest dorkiest smile and said *Your boyfriend wants to talk to you for a minute*. Here, the Mike thing, and everyone leaving the room so that them two could talk was all planned out by this kid.
About a week later, Mike was over everyday because he wanted to use my movie-editing software for a school project. And everyday this kid tagged along, except for one. When I asked Mike where his friend was he told me that he was working at a comic book shop in Parma now 2 days a week. I asked him if he was offended at all because the kid wasnt really helping him with the project while he was working on it. Mike told me that the kid wasnt part of the project, and that he was just coming along to hangout. I told Mike that that was pretty lame that the kid tagged along to do homework with him. Mike laughed and turned to me and was like *OMG are you that freaking airheaded? He isnt tagging along to do homework, he is tagging along to see you!* He continued to tell me how the kid had liked me since Freshmen year (it was now Mid-Junior year). At this point, he was one of those guys I knew by face, and pretended I knew his name. Finally Mike said his name and I never forgot it, and probably never will.
TO BE CONTINUED...
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| Why I love Peterson |
[10 Nov 2004|09:56pm] |
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mood |
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 amused |
] |
A iChat convo from 2 minutes ago
Me- I always thought oh no, anything is possible if you try, nothings impossible if you really want it and all that corny shit
Me- Its all a bunch of fuckin lies
Emily- Maria? can I ask you something serious?
Me- What
Emily- Have you found... Jesus?
Me- No
Emily- in all of his saving Grace
Me- I dont believe in God
Me- at all
Emily- and bullshit?
I was joking >.<
Me- I was going to shoot you
Emily- I think you need to feel the Holy Spirit inside you
Emily- or mabye that's just gas
Emily- ::fart:: yup. gas
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| QUick but cool |
[01 Nov 2004|11:51am] |
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anxious |
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music |
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IM seeing the boss tonight w/kerry! |
] |
I have like 10 seconds to update but HOLY CRAP! It was a crazy weekend. I FUICKING LOVE ANGIE< BRITTANY AND JACKIE!!!!! Why are we so fucking cool?
I also love my boyfriend more than anything in the world. We screwed up pretty bad this weekend and I need to ttalk to him...its killing me. Why do I have to be at school!?!
I AM GOING TO THE JOHN KERRY RALLY TODAY AFTER SCHOOL. BRITTANY IS PICKIN ME UP! IM SOOO PUMPED!!! ELECTION DAY IS ALREADY TOMORROW! HOLY CRAP! EVERYONE VOTE! NO MATTER YOU YOU ARE FOR! I FUCKING WANT YOU ALL TO VOTE! AND DONT BE STUPID, VOTE THE RIGHT WAY SO THAT I KNOW IF i AM GOING TO HAVE TO MOVE TO CANADA OR NOT, MY APPLICATIONS FOR COLLEGE ARE DUE SOON, SO IT WOULD BE A NICE THING TO NOW ASAP!
lASTLY, i JUST WANTED TO LET YOU ALL KNOW THAT i LOVE YOU, AND WANT TO KNOW IF YOU LOVE ME TOO!!!
PS
i ALSO LOVE MARSHMALLOWS AND REN AND STIMPY
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| A DAY IN THE LIFE OF JOE REPUBLICAN |
[06 Oct 2004|10:44pm] |
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mood |
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Joe gets up at 6 a.m. and fills his coffeepot with water to prepare his morning coffee. The water is
clean and good because some tree-hugging liberal fought for minimum
water-quality standards. With his first swallow of water, he takes his
daily medication. His medications are safe to take because some stupid
commie liberal fought to ensure their safety and that they work as
advertised. All but $10 of his medications are paid for by his
employer's medical plan because some liberal union workers fought their
employers for paid medical insurance - now Joe gets it too. He
prepares his morning breakfast, bacon and eggs. Joe's bacon is safe to eat
because some girly-man liberal fought for laws to regulate the meat
packing industry. In the morning shower, Joe reaches for his shampoo.
His bottle is properly labeled with each ingredient and its amount in
the total contents because some crybaby liberal fought for his right to
know what he was putting on his body and how much it contained. Joe
dresses, walks outside and takes a deep breath. The air he breathes is
clean because some environmentalist wacko liberal fought for the laws to
stop industries from polluting our air. He walks on the
government-provided sidewalk to subway station for his
government-subsidized ride to work. It saves him considerable money in
parking and transportation fees because some fancy-pants liberal fought
for affordable public transportation, which gives everyone the
opportunity to be a contributor.
Joe begins his work day. He has a good job with excellent pay, medical
benefits, retirement, paid holidays and vacation because some lazy
liberal union members fought and died for these working standards.
Joe's employer pays these standards because Joe's employer doesn't want
his employees to call the union. If Joe is hurt on the job or becomes
unemployed, he'll get a worker compensation or unemployment check
because some stupid liberal didn't think he should lose his home because
of his temporary misfortune.
It is noontime and Joe needs to make a bank deposit so he can pay some
bills. Joe's deposit is federally insured by the FSLIC because some
godless liberal wanted to protect Joe's money from unscrupulous bankers
who ruined the banking system before the Great Depression. Joe has to
pay his Fannie Mae-underwritten mortgage and his below-market federal
student loan because some elitist liberal decided that Joe and the
government would be better off if he was educated and earned more money
over his lifetime. Joe also forgets that his in addition to his
federally subsidized student loans, he attended a state funded university.
Joe is home from work. He plans to visit his father this evening at his
farm home in the country. He gets in his car for the drive. His car is
among the safest in the world because some America-hating liberal fought
for car safety standards to go along with the tax-payer funded roads. He
arrives at his boyhood home. His was the third generation to live in the
house financed by Farmers' Home Administration because bankers didn't
want to make rural loans. The house didn't have electricity until some
big-government liberal stuck his nose where it didn't belong and
demanded rural electrification. He is happy to see his father, who is
now retired. His father lives on Social Security and a union pension
because some wine-drinking, cheese-eating liberal made sure he could
take care of himself so Joe wouldn't have to. Joe gets back in his car
for the ride home, and turns on a radio talk show. The radio host keeps
saying that liberals are bad and conservatives are good. He doesn't
mention that the beloved Republicans have fought against every
protection and benefit Joe enjoys throughout his day. Joe agrees: "We
don't need those big- government liberals ruining our lives! After all,
I'm a self-made man who believes everyone should take care of
themselves, just like I have.
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| Well |
[09 Jul 2004|11:07pm] |
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mood |
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music |
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My Goddess/The Exies |
] |
Its been an amazingly shitty day. WoW, you have no idea. I started to realize that, as much as you wish people can trust you enough to tell you everything, sometimes it just sucks. I wish Caylan didnt have the guts to tell me everything. 8**(. But I will get into that tomorrow. I decided to vent on some bushy things before I go to bed to make me feel better. I will tell you how today was tomorrow. lol. I still have people to call and places to sneak out to so today is not really over yet. Not if I could help it. Anyway...
Letterman's Top Ten List: Top Ten George W. Bush Complaints About "Fahrenheit 9/11":
10. That actor who played the President was totally unconvincing
9. It oversimplified the way I stole the election
8. Too many of them fancy college-boy words
7. If Michael Moore had waited a few months, he could have included the part where I get him deported
6. Didn't have one of them hilarious monkeys who smoke cigarettes and gives people the finger
5. Of all Michael Moore's accusations, only 97% are true
4. Not sure - - I passed out after a piece of popcorn lodged in my windpipe
3. Where the hell was Spider-man?
2. Couldn't hear most of the movie over Cheney's foul mouth
1. I thought this was supposed to be about dodgeball
The Pentagon says that Bush's military records were "inadvertently" destroyed. Ummm, maybe this announcement comes "inadvertently" right around the time the AP sued to get access to all of "the president's" records.
Anyone want to go to the Vice Presidental Debate at Case in October with me????? PWEZZZZ!!!!!
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| THinking too much.... |
[20 Jun 2004|10:23pm] |
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mood |
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 contemplative |
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music |
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I Spy - Guster |
] |
Well I am going along with my goal to be as happy as possible at all times deal today. As you can tell from my last journal, I have been thinking a lot. I had a really awe-ing day today. Between my grandparents and a really serious talk and the long cold drive I had with Cay, I really needed to think about stuff. I needed to think about the basics....life...love....what I really want....those things that you usually have to be forced to think about. So I was laying on my bed for like 20 minutes after getting back from hanging out with Cay and my mind just started bloating and I could not handle it. I went and read some past journals and there were two things I said that I could not stop thinking about.
I wish that I was bold enough to pursue my dreams.
I wish that I was wise enough to know what my dreams are.
So I decided to type out everything. From brainstorm to brainstorm, to list, to draft of asking and answering my own questions. . . This is what I have come to. I am not quite sure yet how much truth is in it, but it is what I have come to think at this given moment, and I am sure I will expand on it as I continue to ruin my brain. I just wanted to get other opinions on it to help me out a bit....so here is what I have come up with.
There are days when I believe that my life is complete. I have many things for which I am eternally grateful. Those days, I glide as I walk, confident in the knowledge that existence is intrinsically benign, and that men, wine, and song is the future of all things. Hedonistic pleasures, free of responsibilities, the gratification of every whim. Indulgence. After all, this life is the only one we get. Enjoy it while you can. Sooner or later, you'll be old, and life will catch up with you. Crank the volume up and sit back. The ride is easy, and the way is clear.
But what happens when we hit that snag? That obstacle?
We stop. We swerve. We slow down. Panic.
Try as we might, control is not always ours. These are the days I dread. The days when we realize that our efforts, no matter how valiant, are in vain. Sometimes the problem isn't in our hands, but in fate's. Nothing to be done. Wish I could have helped. Chin up. Well, it was a good run. All things end in time. Nothing gold can stay. There will be others. You gave it your best shot.
But that's not all, is there? There has to be more than that. Otherwise the world would be a graveyard of strewn wreckage, battered remains of high hopes and desperate, impossible dreams.
We can do something about our path. Nothing's set in stone. You can do anything if you set your mind to it. Blaze your own trail. We're in command of our own destiny. Free will does exist. Reach for the stars.
Give it everything you've got. Victory goes to those who want it the most.
I want it. I want it all. I want life, passion, satisfaction, knowledge, caring, friends, a guy, a fulfilling career, to be surrounded by those that I love and that love me in return.
Love.
Whether we love in full, in part, halfway there, a little bit, just as friends, just a fling, desperately, with all our heart, bursting from the seams, just an atom, a fraction, a modicum, a colossal amount, like there's no tomorrow, like a brother, like a sister, like a mother, like a father, like a casanova, like a limp fish, like a fever in the night, like a caterpillar cocooned, with every single ounce of emotion that our very souls can muster, we love.
Love.
Nothing is real if not love.
Love love.
I love love.
I want, need, require, demand, request, beg for, would die without, command, give, receive, subjugate, follow, obey, possess, am possessed by, flow within ....love.
I love to love love.
The moment when your hands are numb, you can communicate with your best friend better in the silence than in words, the music plays, and the road stretches as far as the eye can see.
That is love.
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| I want my Dave Matthews tickets |
[12 Jun 2004|12:21pm] |
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mood |
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"Dear honored customer, you provided us with your mailing address, but for some reason we are unable to send you the tickets - likely because we are far too preoccupied with masturbating in each others' ears.
"In order to prevent your order from being canceled within 20 minutes (of your receipt of this message), you must call us at this automated voice-message number which charges $50 per second as you toady around searching for the right sub-menu to rectify your discrepancy.
"In the mean time, we'll flood your ears with Phillip Glass music and then deny you assistance when you are unable to provide your full credit card number BY HEART within 3 seconds of talking to our customer service representative.
"We thank you, honored customer, for choosing Ticket Master. The best way to blow your hard-earned time and money on frustration you don't need."
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| Anthony |
[02 Jun 2004|10:35pm] |
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mood |
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A Good Friend is There to Bail You Out of Jail, A Best Friend Is There Standing Next To You Saying, Dude, We Fucked Up
As much as I always say I hate my family and cant wait to move away. I love my brother so much!!!!!
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| So much for that... |
[01 Jun 2004|07:21pm] |
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mood |
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 annoyed |
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music |
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Minus the Bear |
] |
Well today like I said, I left my project at home that I stayed up all night to work on. Today was just kinda...I don't know....BLAH. Shane and I are like on and off again. It's like something funny happens, and everything is alright, then I remember what is going on and it's all sucky. Whatever. He couldn't forgive me for walking out on him durning a fight I had with my mom, why should I forgive him so easily for making me and my friends feel so bad for such a long time about some huge ass lie. yeah, you heard me. 8-P.
In other news, allyson is havin a crappy day....send her some huggs.
SO we got to show my CSU short to the judges today....i got out of school early.
In short, the public was warned.
I'm pretty goddamn sick of having to put a disclaimer on things. I'm getting fairly fed up with having to justify myself or my art. Most of all, I'm getting fucking tired of people having locust plagues swarming through their rectal region. Why is it so hard to laugh at something? Why is it so difficult to see something for what it is, rather than what it's not? Why can't we blur the lines between offensive and hilarious until we reach the point where people are able to say to themselves, "Oh, this is a joke. It's not serious. I'll just laugh at it, rather than get uptight and pissy."
Too bad it's not going to happen.
Ah well. It was a fine performance, and I love my cast very much. They are wonderful, talented people and I hope that they know how much I respect their efforts... regardless of Sticky's ineffectual commentary.
Congratulations to the rest of you involved, especially those that made it to finals. Especially the cast of Variations on the Death of Trotsky. You guys rule.
I wish that I was bold enough to pursue my dreams.
I wish that I was wise enough to know what my dreams are.
Don't listen to all those idiots.
The correct order is ROBOT. MONKEY. NINJA. PIRATE.
Robot is always first, then alphabetical down the line.
Why do I live?
4 MORE DAYS TILL ZEBRAHEAD!!!
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| Stupid *itch!!!! |
[25 May 2004|08:39pm] |
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mood |
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scared |
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music |
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Death Cab For Cutie - We Looked Like Giants |
] |
I dont like being threatened with black magic OK!!!
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[19 May 2004|06:14am] |
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mood |
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amused |
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music |
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Peter G Your Eyes (acoustic) |
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Ha, I was just reading Brave New World and the one girl was talking to the guy saying oh! dont worry about tomorrow or yesterday, just have some soma and a good time!
rewind to voice recording.....fall musical....cast interviews....
So...in 4 years when I listen to this, what advice would you like to give me?
Chris- Life is all about being a good kisser
Maggie- (reminded me of the book) Lifes a bitch, then you die, fuck the world, lets all get high!
Dave- Dont make me attack you with this....(scrambling crap on the table in search of weapon) ...this..this...uh.....ah ha! this Dashboard CD case! I can get you 2 ways! I can play it AND I can drop it on your head! OH! and I can give you paper cuts with the jacket! (evil laugh)
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[19 May 2004|06:06am] |
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mood |
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 confused |
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So maybe he was right about the threat, but that does not mean I have to believe the elimination of it is right......right???????
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| Juat another day |
[18 May 2004|06:41pm] |
Your eye color should be green. You love nature and
anything that has to do with it and you let
everybody know about it. You have a higher
level of understanding of the earth and it's
many creatures, and love to explore areas
you've never been to before.
What Color Eyes Should You Have? ( With Anime Pictures ^-^ )
brought to you by Quizilla
Im really tired. i have a lot of HW to do. I did go shopping with my cousin today though....which was good fun. Shes crazy. Only her can pick out the weirdest clothes and pull them off looking awesome. I wouldnt even be able to try. Im glad i got to shop with her though. Rather than my mom who only lets me shop when I need something to wear an hour before I need it. So i dont do much hardcore shopping. Maybe thats why I take such a long time when I get a chance to go.
17 MORE DAYS TILL ZEBRAHEAD!
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keepitreelpwez's journal
